Ooooh I am blogging at work!

I feel so naughty blogging at work, but alas it is dead here on a sunday morning so I wanted to do something to entertain myself. So the newest development in my life looks to be the possibility of me working 3 part time jobs when i graduate. I am very much ok with this because weirdly enough the scheduling would allow me some flexibility. I would be working at just local food a shift or two each week. I would also be working at mega around 2 shifts a week and then finally I would, if all goes as planned, be working at the Eau Claire Small Business Development Corporation around 12-15 hours each week, which would solidify me working like 50 hours a week, which would be fine by me because it would mean more money for me. I am just waiting to hear the final word from Jim who is in charge of the SBDC. Everyone cross your fingers for me because it would be very good experience in the field in which I am currently hoping to work.

On friday I gave my final presentation which went fairly well, it wasnt perfect, but it could have been much worse. It was nice to have my dad come over and met some of my professors and talk to some of the people who I worked with in the Entrpreneurship program. I liked having the professors saying great things about me to my father it really made me feel good, but of course the one person who did not say all that much nice stuff about me was Dr. Hughes the person in charge of the program. I really think he despises all of us students just because he can. I mean he spent a lot of time with us over the past year, yet when we were receiving our certificates he read a sheet that each of us had written about ourselves more than a year ago. I mean couldnt he make it a little personal? And I mean all he really did was mok each of us anyway. I was just dissappointed in that. He knows us by now so he should have been able to say something. I guess I should be happy I only have to endure him one more time.

There have been some pauses in here to help customers, because I dont want to be a careless worker, now I need to get in the same train of thought that I was in before.

It is now less than a week away from graduation. I am definitely excited for it. It is a big moment in my life, but at the same time I feel that I let myself slack a little bit too much during college. I did what I needed to get by and get decent grades. My grades in upper level classes are definitely noticably higher than they were in my general ed classes. I was more interested in those classes and I just cared more about school then too. My first year to say the least was rough. My depression was getting the better of me, but I started to gain more control as time has gone on. I am right now in control of my depression, and I bet if I didnt tell people about it very few would guess that I was depressed. That is probably my proudest accomplishment in my life. I am so glad that I can stop that from controling my life like it used to. I am now able to see things in a much happier light muh more of the time. :)

Another accomplishment of mine is making it through college without drinking. There are many reasons that I chose to not drink at all, I guess this is a good time to get into that. The first and probably most important reason I dont drink is because of my depression. Lets see a depressed person inbibing a depressant, thats always a good combination. I also dont drink because I have trouble limiting myself when it comes to food and drink, I just figure its easiest to limit it when its eliminated completely. My third reason is that I never once had the inclination to drink. I hve more than enough fun just being me every day. I dont need any sort of substance to assist in me feeling well. I learned this from my anti depressants. I can feel great without anything even if it is uppers. I never felt all that amazing with my antidepressants, I just felt less down. My final reason is going to seem kind of weird to people but it was important to me. My sophomore year in high school after practice we were asked to make pledges not to drink or do drugs so that we would not get suspended from the team. Some people didnt see this as important, but I was making this oath to Mark Setterstrom, who is not a player in the NFL for the rams. It was huge to me I said that I would not drink until I graduate from college. I know it is weird, but I really took that to heart. I hope this gives people a little bit of a view into my decision. I mean I am very happy with it. I never gave in once. I still have nothing wrong with people drinking as long as they are responsible.

I was glancing through rolling stone last night at mega, because it really is one of the few magazines that I will read there. My favorite album this year was ranked as the 4th best album by rolling stone. That was really cool in my mind because no one else i really know listens to them. I dont really listen to music that is popular at all so this is another reason that I was impressed by this.

Well I should be wrappying this up now.
I hope you liked the latest glimpse into my mind.

Just something I have pondered for a long time......

I am a strange person who by most accounts could very well be classified as a jerk or an ass or whatever term you would like to use, but somehow when I make fun of people many people tend to like me more. I am a very caring person when it is needed, but mocking people and making fun of them is just something I do for some messed up reason. I think it has to do with sibling rivalry and my upbringing but that is beside the point. I think that the way things tend to work out in the respect is just so weird. I really just want people to comment on this so please comment on this and give me your thoughts. I guess this sounds very conceited. It is just an observation that I have made through time. Can someone give me a good explanation please? I was also just told that I can be a complete jerk one minute and then the sweetest guy the next, that is kinda weird too.

Another week closer..........

I guess there are only 19 more days until graduation, but there are lots of new stresses being introduced into my life. There is some drama with my family and some that exists only in my head, but the real drama is that I just don't know what I want to do when i get done with school. I find the little motivation that I had this semester is all but gone. I had a test last week that I really did not care about at all. I think this blog is actually a type of therapy for me. I need some way to spill all of my thoughts before I can move on to new things, this is a great way especially now that I know that some people are interested enough to read what I write.

I had a great thanksgiving. I went to my dad's house and had a good time with him and my brother. I had to come back to Eau Claire on friday, and then on saturday I went back to the cities to watch my high school play in the state championship, and although they had a great season, winning 9 in a row to get to the championship including some huge upsets, they were unable to pull it off in the championship. It was a good overall game and tehre were some cool plays, but the other team was just too big. I am really impressed with what they were able to do. It was such a powerful senior class, they really banded together after losing 3 of their first 4 games and were able to do something really impressive that no team can look down on them for. I think this was partially because of good coaching and experience and also because of the never quit attitude that the team took on, they beat the #1 team in 4a in the state semifinals which was huge.

I had a great discussion with someone yesterday about our mutual disdain for people who are too preachy. I dont like being told what to think or believe. I know where I stand on most things and I feel bad that this person is being put through religious pressure by others because of the fact that what she believes is simply different from what they believe. I think an important part of bein human is being different and being diverse, if we were all the same life would not be as fun or as interesting. I just dont like that some people feel the need to push their beliefs onto others. I just dont like how closed minded people can be. If I am going to hell for what I believe I am very content with that. I am by no means a bad person. I believe in one very big thing and that is respect for others. I dont tell people that they are wrong for what they believe. i think that different people should be allowed to believe different things because different things support the lives of different people. I tend to steer clear of religion as a topic of conversation because some people get riled up when I dont agree with them. I want to have my freedom of religion that is promised in the constitution.

I guess I should also mention that I am completely against drugs in every way. I have recently had someone really close to me get in trouble with the law because of drugs. This depresses me because I blame myself for letting this happen to them even though it was this person's actions that caused it and had nothing to do with me directly, but I still feel that I should have done something to prevent it. I just personally do not understand why some people need drugs to have fun. I have fun doing nothing I guess that is just because I am easily ammused, but I am just fine with that. I guess I am just a closed off prude or something like that because I hate drugs and I hate the fact that I have had friends who wont talk to me anymore because I will not get high with them.

I really have relatively little left to do in college, but I dont want to be the kind of person to do it half assed. I need to knuckle down and finish strong in college and also double my efforts to find a job. I might be stuck working my two current jobs for a little while after I graduate from college, which I can live with because I will be making some decent money. I worked a lot over the summer so I know I can work 50+ hour weeks for a while.

Well I am a little rushed by this so that I can get some stuff for graduation done. I feel bad because ironically this posting is going to sound very preachy. I guess thats too bad, but I have to get going now.